Hi Philly time 8:24pm Wed nite May 6- 7 -8 - 9, 2007

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Philly time 7:35pm Sunday

Hiya, Brian.
How was the weekend? Well, it's not over yet for you
- at least. Did Tim stay over until today? What did
you guys do?
It rained here most all afternoon and evening
yesterday (Sunday) and is overcast now. It's been
such a cool, wet spring. With our luck, it will turn
right into the rainy season (June-July).
Hugs,

David (Mr. Brooks, Tim's former 8th grade English
teacher who now lives in Japan and has a vacation
cottage in Hawaii - remember that?)

P.S. I concocted that story several weeks ago so if
you and Tim and CJ could come to Tokyo or Hawaii some
day. LOL! You never mentioned it or made any comment
so I don't know if you remember that story.

c-u-l8er, bboi.

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Re: Philly time 7:35pm Sunday

Hiya Davidddd,

yeah Tim stayed. We were outside allll weekend. He and I were just walking around the city and by the water and in Fairmount park and stuff. We were making out under a tree and some girls were watching us then when we looked up they said...wowww HOT! HAHAAAAAA we were laughing! ummmwhat else. At the landing lots of stuff always going on there. it was perfect this weekend,warm and breeezy and nice. just had an awesome time. nites were fun too!!! saturdaynite mom and andy went to some party so we were alone till 2 am!!!! waaaaaaahoooooooo. Mmmmmyeah. I remember that story. THAT is a cool idea. We got a little drunk on sat. I knwo i wasn't drinking anymroe but i did. U mad at me? OK, i have TONSSSSSSS of h.w. MISS u. I know you dont wanna talk much anymore but i still miss you. CJ was telling me that you said you thought i was gonna be all faggoty and dress like a woman! that kinda made me sad. you don't know me, i don't act like a girl at all, i wear jeans all the time, get dirty, play baseball, like girls even a little, why did you think that? OH well, it just made me feel sad. He's like...he thinks your gonna be a transvestite! AND D, theres NOTHING I HATE MORE seriously. i'm sooo not into that shit. i am a boi to the core. i wish u knew that.

heart u still,
b

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Re: Philly time 7:00am Monday - save reading this to later - you have to go to school


Brian P. Flynn,
You don't have time to read this Monday a.m.
save it to later - you have to go to school
===========================

Great...you had a wonderful weekend with Tim.
"Making out in PUBLIC are we now, what's to become of
us?" NOTE: Said with an made-up Irish accent -like the
Grandpa Lewis (I must be).

NOOOOO.. I KNOW you are all boy. I was just joking
around with CJ to get his take on your wearing makeup
and hanging with Tim and stuff. That's was just the
second time he and I have talked so you should have
asked me directly about that if it mad you sad - made
is more like it. .. I could tell you were mad because
you just said 'fuck you'.. and dropped it.

I DO know you well enough to realize that - even as
limited as our e-mail letters must be --I can surely
tell that you are NOT like that -- not into queeny
queerdom --I know you ARE NOT faggotty or effeminate
but all boy - sk8erboi - in fact.
I am not blaming anybody but CJ just relayed part of
the conversation to you. I noticed that you seemed to
have been distant (I would say a bit angry) since that
last time CJ and I talked on Yahoo -- well, that's
water under the bridge.

I have NOT stopped loving you or wanting to talk to
you every day (morning - noon - night actually) - but
I've been impractical thinking about our relationship
(like WAY overboard on my part) and it's finally come
home to me that it's an infatuation that can't go
anywhere.. (although I still want your friendship and
companionship and I always will be here for you). But
it is just NOT realistic to think I can be anything to
you but a sometimes and distant acquaintance.
It shouldn't hurt so much for me to admit that.. but
it really does make me sad. I know TOO it's not your
fault.. It's just me.. I heart you too much.

You don't even need me anyway. - I mean you have
plenty of friends, and people who care for you and
love and who can keep your days filled with happiness.
You found your dad and can communicate with him too.
I sometime realize I'm just an intruder in your
life.. but I'm very grateful to have had this chance
to know such a great young man as you.
I am rooting for you and want to do anything I can
for you -- but there's not much except loving you that
I can do.
I also realized that I don't like being an outlaw -
somebody who communicates to you secretly - almost
illegally behind your Mom's and Andy's view. I know
that the way things are.. but it doesn't make me proud
or feel good.
I want them to be happy with you and loving and
accepting of you -- so it pains me to think that I
would tarnish their image of you if they knew you were
chatting with a older stranger who is gay.

So I am just coming to grips with all these realities
- you probably have been better at accepting things
for what they are.. I have been just too romantic...
I think I am the real EMOboy.

I'm NOT saying I don't want to talk and share things
or tell each other what's happening or what we're
experiencing.. I just have realized that it's been a
consuming passion (for me) that doesn't jive with
reality. You mean a lot to me - that's for sure - but
you have a long way to go (growing up brave and strong
and smart and cool), and a lot to get done - like
finishing high school and going to college and meeting
you dad and experiencing a loving relationship with
Tim ... doing your art and your music - none of those
can I help you with immediately or directly.

Sorry to babble on and on..
Hugs,
D.


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Hi Philly time 7:50pm Tuesday


Kelly (D) wrote:
B.
How ya doin'? I'm fine. Not great.. but OK.
Miss you .. I'm pretending not to hurt (living in
denial - LOL) - Heart you...

D.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Re: Hi Philly time 7:50pm Tuesday May 7, 2007

D,
I"m good was just out ---now i'm in to do h.w. and dooooooooo not wanna. but i know it's gonna get me into college. I'm sooooooo wanting to be out in this perfct weather. miss you too alot. OK? why are you hurting, i hope i didn't make you sad. i just had to tell you about the cj thing. I am not ubergay OK? i am nott girly, i am a BOI big time. I was playing baseball for fuck sake. ummm we were drinking again which is bad and i know its a school nite and it makes me all fucking horny and makes me hard. like rite now i'm sittin ghere with a hard on. that's bad, but i gotta do school stuff.

whats going on with you? huh? like are you teaching now? ummmmmmm...i cna't think at all so I better go. i miss you uncledavid. my dad hasn't written me in a long time and that makes me fell like shit alot. i mean what am I? i have my mo and andy and my friends, but my dad who knows i wanna know him isn't into it i dont think. Fuck. i'm not being such a good boy. so its ok if he doesnt wanna know me. rite?

i miss u
briannnnskatefuck

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Re: Hi Philly time 9:20pm Tuesday May 8

Brian,
I miss you too. Hey, don't let my little downer
attidude - get to you. You ONLY make me happy and feel
like I have a friend and caring boy (my uberboi-son
from another life), Brian P. "Sully" xxxxx!

I am bit concerned about your drinking some nowadays.
You mentioned it once recently - did you drink this
afternoon before you got home?
I KNOW you don't want a lecture - but I care about
you so much and can't just KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.

Getting high IS habit forming - you know - I really
don't need to tell you that. Nothing much good comes
from doing alcohol and other drugs) in the long run -
you know that for yourself. Right .. it feels good at
the time.. but it keeps taking more and more to keep
that good feeling going.
But like all of us, we look for ways to hide from the
hurt or pain or drudgery (like homework or school) or
from the desire of wanting something so badly or
wanting to change things or ourselves.
Who is buying or getting the alcohol - how do you get
it in the first place?

Give your dad a break - that's what you had said to
him in your first letter? You said you WOULD
understand if he never wrote back.. BUT HE DID write
back! So give him some time. You can always write
him, too. Eventually, he'll write back. He may not be
rich enough to just bring his family for a visit and
besides it might be a painful experience just
returning to America (which is not directly connected
to whether or not he wants to see you.)

Wish we could talk and I'd hug you and you squeeze
you tight...
Hey, you need to do something nice for somebody
else.. like Mother's Day is coming up .. talk to Andy
to see what you can do for her (maybe with his help).
I don't mean buying a gift.. there are other gifts --
liking helping at home, going to yoga (with her), or
writing her a song or making a card (with you original
drawings or poetry).
Get you mind off just yourself - hey, that's advice
that I need to take too.

Love,
D


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Thursday, May 10 2007 9:33am

Bboi.sweetSk8er.ALLboybuffdude

Brian,
Labeling ourselves is just that -like most of the
above way I addressed you - they're only words to
describe you (us - as people) at one single point in
time and by just one and very limited glance.

I hope we are not defining ourselves ONLY by our
labels - maybe I'm doing that too much.

Anyway.. if you have time (too much school work) or
have the all clear (no one is watching).. I'm online
at my computer.

I miss talking to you - because you are one of the
most responsive, more positive, sexiest and funnier
people I meet day-to-day. No need to label you 'emo'
- you're beamo - in my book - beaming with joy and
love and sunshine!

See u later,

David